Thursday, May 10, 2012

Comparing Male and Female Directed Erotic Visualization

Comparing Male and Female Directed Erotic VisualizationYesterday, we talked about Literotica’s Directed Erotic Visualization exercise .

We poked around a little more and found the male version of DEV , and comparing the male and female versions provided some interesting insights.

Both versions started with the same intense relaxation exercises. But when it came time to get sensual, each took it in a different direction.

The female DEV focused on recalling and recreating the physical sensations caused by sexual pleasure and orgasm (i.e., the tingly feeling between your legs, the building tension in your pelvis), whereas the male version focused on the physical sensations that cause sexual pleasure and orgasm (a female voice narrates a blowjob and tells the listener to imagine feeling her lips on his dick, etc.).

The male version also spent an awful lot time stroking the listener’s ego, telling him over and over again how big and hard his cock was.

For us, this highlighted the differences between male and female orgasm.

Male orgasms are a lot more corporeal. The physical sensation of a hand or a mouth or a vagina on a penis allows a man to reach climax. (And you get bonus points for telling him he’s really big.)

But a female orgasm is much more cerebral. A woman has to be in the right mental state to achieve orgasm, and it’s less about the physical things being done to her (i.e., penetration, oral sex), and much more about her brain’s ability to create certain abstract (and perhaps purely mental) sensations inside her body.

You can’t touch the area that goes crazy right before a woman comes. And while the clitoris and g-spot can help conjure up those feelings, the mind plays an even bigger role.

That’s not to say that guys only feel orgasms in their penises. They have a similar can’t-quite-put-my-finger-on-the-exact-spot-that-feels-good-but-it’s-kinda-all-over sensation at the point of orgasm.

But the penis is a much more direct route to climax. It doesn’t work every time, but it’s a lot more reliable (and may create more intense physical sensations) than female sex organs.

So the next time you find yourself unable to climax, try to put your brain in the mood. Clear your mind and relax as much as possible, and focus on visualizing something that turns you on, rather than trying to get turned on by physical sensation.