Dinner's on... Him?

No matter how well a date is going, things always get a little awkward when the check arrives.

Both parties reach for their wallets and hash out some sort of payment plan. And that exchange invariably changes the evening’s mood.

If the guy insists on paying, great. But if he doesn’t, well…

Every girl has a different reaction. Some feel that gender equality doesn’t end when the check comes, making both equally responsible for that bottle of Chianti. Others expect the guy to pick up the entire tab four years into a relationship.

Figuring out who pays (and how much, and how often) is a delicate compromise that’s different for every relationship. If one partner has a lot more disposable income, he/she might pay more often. If both make about the same, it might make sense to split the bill.

But a guy’s generosity (or lack thereof) can be very telling in two situations.

The first is at the beginning of the relationship. When a guy first meets a girl, he should be going out of his way to impress her. And that includes paying on the first few dates.

That doesn’t mean he has to take you to dinner at the W. Most young professionals spend a good chunk of their paychecks on rent, especially in DC. But, if a guy were really trying to seduce you, he’d pick something he could afford.

Our society places a premium on men who pay on the first date. It’s not necessarily expected, but guys know that they’ll look good if they pick up the check.

So what incentive does he have not to pay on the first date?

Like we said, if money’s an issue, he can pick somewhere affordable. But if he splits the check (or lets you pick up the whole thing), he’s setting the bar pretty low.

People’s behavior gets worse, not better, as a relationship progresses. At the beginning, you’re constantly trying to impress the other person to win him/her over. But once you start getting comfortable, you don’t spend as much time picking out the outfits you wear each time you see him.

It’s the same for guys. If he’s splitting the check on the first date, imagine how generous he’ll be after you’ve been seeing each other for a month.

Not everyone cares about being taken out. And if you’re dating a hill staffer, you probably won’t be wined and dined the same way you would if you were dating a banker.

But stinginess on the first date can be a bad sign of things to come. You wouldn’t wear sweatpants on your first date. So if he doesn’t pay, we wonder why doesn’t feel the need to make an effort.

The second red flag comes when there’s significant income disparity.

If you and your guy are both on tight budgets, it would probably be nice for you to pitch in (at least sometimes) when he takes you out.

But if he’s making a lot more than you and still asking you to go Dutch, again, we have to wonder why.

Money creates a sensitive situation that’s never easy to navigate. People tend to take things very personally when money’s involved, which might explain why money can ruin relationships in a single transaction.

But if you’re interning at a nonprofit and he’s working at Morgan Stanley, he should probably pay when he takes you out. Again, this doesn’t mean he has to take you to dinner five nights a week. And it doesn’t mean that he has to take you to the fanciest restaurants.

But if he isn’t generous with you when it comes to money (and he can clearly afford to be), what else will he be stingy with? His time, his emotions, his support? Do you really want to stick around to find out?

Are They Real?

Meeting people online, whether through dating websites, sex hookup websites or social networking sites, can cause a bit of turmoil sometimes. Not everyone the internet is telling the truth about who they are or what they`re looking for. There are men pretending to be women because women have an easier time getting people to instant message with them. There are people who are already involved in a relationship and are simply looking for cybersex, but they tell the people they contact that they are looking for a real romantic relationship.

Sometimes it isn`t easy to pick out the people who aren`t being honest in the first few e-mails. A lot of times they have their game down pat, so they sound convincing in the beginning. There story will fall apart when the person they`re talking to starts pushing to meet in person or even just to talk on the phone. People who are pretending to be a different gender would obviously have a difficult time talking on the phone and being convincing most of the time, unless they are very talented actors. If someone keeps putting off talking on the phone with no real (or good) reason, they might be someone who is pretending to be something they`re not or someone who is already involved. The same goes for people who keep putting off meeting or who have a big emergency that prevents them from getting there every time a meeting is scheduled. Some people really do have emergencies happen, but if it seems to be something that happens repeatedly every time there`s a meeting schedule, it might be a problem.

One possible way to weed people out is to ask them to go on webcam. Men may not have as much luck with this request, because women are getting pretty tired of getting on webcam just to find the guy on the other end naked with the camera pointed at his hard cock. Its not that women don`t want to have cam sex or see the guy naked, but they often do prefer some internet foreplay in the form of conversation. It`s sometimes best not to e-mail and instant message for too terribly long to avoid getting emotionally attached to someone who may not turn out to be real. If they can`t talk on the phone, webcam or meet within a reasonable amount of time, it may be best to move on.

Sex Tips: Eye Contact

Every girl wants to feel like she’s amazing in bed.

Even though we firmly believe that you’re there to please yourself, not your man, we understand that the competitive spirit that dominates our lives makes us want to feel like we’re number 1 at all times.

And because performance anxiety makes some girls so nervous that they can’t enjoy sex, we’re willing to share a few secrets to male pleasure so you can be so confident enough in the boudoir to enjoy yourself at all times.

Today’s tip: unexpected eye contact.

This is less of a go-to move and more of an icing-on-the-cake to pull out (no pun intended) every once in a while.

Guys see eye contact as a sign of enthusiasm, and, like we’ve said before, enthusiasm is the number one thing that turns guys on in bed. When you lock eyes mid-coitus, it makes it seem like you’re so focused on how good it feels that you’re not thinking about anything else.

This is especially effective with blowjobs. Most guys know that blowjobs aren’t a girl’s favorite pastime. But the more enthusiastic you seem, the more they enjoy it. It’s hard to moan when your mouth is focused on other things, but staring into his eyes is an easy way to make him feel like you’re getting off by getting him off.

Locking eyes is also a turn-on in unexpected positions. Try turning around and making eye contact during doggy style or reverse cowgirl. He won’t be expecting it, and that further validation will send him over the edge.

But be careful: this trick is easy to abuse. Too much eye contact gets creepy, especially in plain-vanilla positions where eye contact is kind of inevitable. Don’t stare at him too much if he’s on top (missionary-style) or if you’re on top in cowgirl. That kind of eye contact could make him feel uncomfortable, the way you start to squirm when someone stares directly at you throughout an entire two-hour meeting.

We’re taking off early for New Year’s. See you all next week!

Is He Just In It For The Sex?

Today, this one is for the ladies! Guys love sex ladies, it`s a fact of life. But, if you`re dating a guy who only seems to want to have sex or make out, you might be wondering if he`s only with you simply for the casual sex. If you really do think this, you need to figure out what is going on. or if he`s just a normal guy who can`t get sex off his mind.

All guys are into sex-don`t hold it against him: if you think he`s only in the relationship for sex just because he wants to have it all the time, you could be very wrong. Most guys are into sex and it`s constantly on their minds. He may really enjoy being in a relationship with you and may care a lot about you, but he might not be able to control his mind when it comes to thinking about you naked. Many girls think that withholding sex is a good test to see if he still wants to hang out with you, but this is totally unfair to him! Instead, there are a few questions you can ask yourself.

How to tell if he`s only in it for sex: If you`re serious about believing he only wants to be with you because of the sex, then here are a few questions to ask yourself:

• Do you engage in other activities with him?
• How does he treat you outside the bedroom?
• How does he treat you in front of friends and family?
• Do you hang out together with his friends and family?
• Is he interested in what you have to say or what is going on in your life?
• Does he call you late night only for booty calls?
• Does he come by only for sex?

If you answer yes to most of these questions then you might have a problem on your hands. If you answer no to a majority of these questions, then he probably enjoys dating you and having sex with you. Guys that only want sex tend to not hide it very well at all. He wont want to hang out with you, he will go straight for the booty call at 2 am, he wont call or text you to chat, he will always suggest sex right away.

What to do if he only cares about sex: If your guy fits the bill or someone who only wants sex you need to figure out what to do with this. If the sex is great and you would otherwise be single, then you could keep him as a booty call while you continue to date and look for someone else, or if you`re not into that you can break it off with him.

Cheap Date: The Source

If you're intimidated by the absence of prices on the menu at the DC version of Wolfgang Puck's trendy (read: expensive) line of restaurants, the new happy-hour-esque special at The Source might be for you. It's still an excuse to get dressed up, but, if you get there between 5 and 6 p.m. Monday through Saturday, you don't have to blow a ton of cash. The Source is, of course, too classy to call it what it really is (a happy hour), so they're dubbing it "The Hour of Power," and they'll give you three dishes paired with three glasses of wine for $25. That should be enough to eliminate some of that still-getting-to-know-each-other awkwardness. And we always love a happy hour that lasts till Saturday. Although you'll still have to come up with your own solution to the inexorable DC "Why am I drunk at 6 p.m. and what am I supposed to do now?" conundrum.

The Source

575 Pennsylvania Avenue, N.W.

202.637.6100

How To Choose The Right Chat Partner

We all know that free dating sites provide millions of singles looking for online chat sessions. However with so many to choose from, how do you know who is the most compatible for you? Here are a few simple guidelines:

Interests

It`s always best to choose somebody who haves the same interests as you. Whether it be book, tv show or movie-related, your chances of connecting with someone online is better if you can instantly hit it off by liking the same things. By opening that door, you will see enjoy how like-minded your online pen pal really is and you will be able to spark good chat conversations because of that.

Same Schedule

You should always choose somebody that is typically online when you are online. If you`re trying to connect with someone who works the graveyard shift while you work the day shift, it won`t work. They should be someone who is always available when you are. The more you chat with this person, the more likely it is you will build a great friendship or relationship with them.

Morals, Values and Beliefs

If you are a religious person, it`s best to hunt for someone who shares the same moral beliefs as you do. If you are Christian, you will probably not connect with someone who is Atheist…even if you share common interests. It`s easier to accept differences among people that have been in your life for a long time and it`s difficult to accept differences from a total stranger.

2 Sex Tips To Make Her Look Good

Awesome sex doesn’t always begin in the bedroom. You should have a plan for a steamier and sexier experience with your partner and in order to do this, you should do something beforehand to give your dating partner great sex and great orgasms!

Tip #1: You may begin this by cooking a special meal while she is not yet home. Cook whatever recipe you know because even if it is not the best food she will eat, your effort will surely be appreciated. While she is stuck in traffic, make a path of candles turn off all the lights in your house. Make it a candlelit dinner to add more romance. Put wine or champagne on our list to serve. Just before it is time for dessert, prepare a warm bubble bath for your partner, dim the lights and put candles around the tub. After dinner, go to the bathtub and undress her. While you give her a bath, touch every spot on her body, but don’t begin with her breasts. Once she is in the mood for sex, you can then starts caressing her inner thighs. Right after the bath, dry her up and begin with foreplay. Not only will you prepare her physically, but you’re guaranteed to prime her for an amazing orgasm.

Sex tip # 2: If you and your partner are creative, you could take this fucking session away from the privacy of your home. You can take your partner for dinner and then once you are in the restaurant, excuse yourself for some private time in the bathroom. Call her while you are in the bathroom and she is at the table. Talk about your deepest desires. You may continue this after dinner as you ride in the car to a secluded place. Play sexy music in the background. Then whisper in her ear what you want to do to her. Once you hear your partner ask for more, take it! You will certainly give the best orgasms ever.

How To Hide Your Web History

When it comes to your private online chat sessions at home, it is easy to get spied on from your partner. All it takes is a click of a button to check your web history and if you have been browsing your ex`s social media network profile, your partner is going to know about it. If you want to keep your dating life drama-free, then it is imperative that you know how to hide your web history as soon as possible. Now, it`s easy to delete search history from your computer, but if you are trying to delete the annoying and trouble making predictive URL function on your computer, then follow the guidelines below:

DIRECTIONS:

1. INTERNET EXPLORER

a) Open Internet Explorer. Click on the "Tools" Menu at the top of the screen.

b) Select "Internet Options" and then "Delete Browsing History."

c) Check off the "Form Data" and "History" boxes in the pop-up menu that appears on the screen.

d) Simply press "delete."

2. FIREFOX

a) Open Firefox. Click the "Tools" menu.

b) Select Internet Options. Left click on the privacy tab.

c) Click "Clear History."

3. GOOGLE CHROME

a) Open Google Chrome. Right click on the "Tools" Menu.

b) Click on "Options" then "Under the Hood" in the menu that appears on the screen.

c) Click on "Clear browsing data." Check off the boxes marked "Clear browsing history" and "Everything."

d) Press "Clear Browsing data."

 

And there you go! It`s really just that simple! Be smart and protect your privacy from your lover today!

 

Kissing on the First Date

First-date protocol is always tricky to navigate. What do you wear, what do you say, do you offer to pay, how many times do you insist on paying?

But there’s one thing that should be pretty straightforward that somehow isn’t: the first-date kiss.

No one ever wants to do it (unless the date’s going spectacularly well, which, as we discussed before, rarely happens), and yet both sides tend to assume it’s expected.

In our experience, girls are more likely to feel like they owe it to their dates, while guys seem to feel the need to assert their sexual vitality.

And yet it’s always forced and rushed, something one party initiates just as the other is about to get in a cab or on the metro.

There’s nothing worse than a bad kiss. It makes you feel like you don’t have chemistry and aren’t attracted the other person. It makes you feel awkward and uncomfortable, and in some cases even violated. We’re not sentimentalists, but there is something intimate about having another person penetrate your body (even if it’s only your mouth), and when it goes badly, you feel like you let someone into a place he didn’t belong.

But what makes a kiss good? And more importantly, what makes it bad?

At this point in our lives, it’s rarely technique. Unless you’re trying to emulate a helicopter with your tongue, you’re probably OK. (But if you’re unsure, use less, not more, tongue.)

A great kiss is usually just great timing, and a bad kiss is rarely more than a horribly inopportune moment.

Think back on the best kisses in your life. They probably all share one thing in common: anticipation. The longer you wait, the more you build it up, and the more satisfied you feel when you finally get it. It’s like the boots you saved up a year to buy versus the ones your mom gave you for Christmas.

So if you want to be a better kisser, you have to make the other person wonder if/when it’s coming. You have to build up the sexual chemistry. And you don’t want to spring it on someone after a few awkward drinks at the Ritz.

There’s no need to hug or initiate any sort of conciliatory contact either. The key is not to rush it—wait until the right moment hits you on the head, rather than worrying about keeping your eyes peeled for a perfect opening.

Unfortunately, there’s no telltale sign that says it’s time. But you should know each other a little bit before you lean in for the magic moment. And that’s probably not going to be on the first date, and there’s a good chance it won’t be the second or third date either.

For girls, think of it this way. How many times would you have to meet/hang out with a new girl (space) friend before you started hugging her when you ran into her? That’s probably about how long you should wait to kiss a new date.

For guys, we can only say this: it’s longer than you think. And it’s definitely not a first-date maneuver. 

Making a Guy Jealous (Part II)

Yesterday we talked about why it’s a bad idea to bring up an ex/other guys to make a new guy jealous.

But casually mentioning other men in your life can be advantageous when you’re unequivocally dating, although we’re still not advocating using it to inspire jealousy.

Let’s say you want him to come to something with you—your office Christmas party. He kind of balks at the idea and seems totally uninterested. You could nag, but it’s better to say something like, “It’s fine—I can just bring this guy Jeff.” When he asks who Jeff is (or even if he doesn’t), you say something like, “Oh, he’s just this guy I went out with a few times last summer—it’s OK, I’m totally not interested in him in that way, although I wish he would get the hint, but he’s a really cool guy and I’ve been meaning to hang out with him.”

You need to establish that this guy wants you, but totally desexualize the relationship on your end (i.e., assuring him that you’re in no way interested). That way, it looks like you’re going out of your way to prevent jealousy (because there’s no way you’d initiate anything with Jeff!), but you’re still allowing your S.O. to imagine the possibilities of you spending the evening with a guy who has the hots for you.

If you are going to evoke competition, you have to make it seem like you’re going out of your way to do exactly the opposite. If you say, “Fine, I’ll go with Jeff—we’re totally into each other!” it makes you look petty, spiteful, and overly dramatic. The trick is to present it as something that seems like the perfect solution—Jeff is totally in love with you, so of course he’ll go, but don’t worry, you have absolutely zero interest in him, so nothing will happen. Everyone wins!

Or let’s say you’ve been wanting him to take you to Komi, but he won’t take the hint. Say something like, “My friend Jeff’s taking me to Komi on Friday—I’m so excited, because I’ve been really wanting to go but it’s wayyyy too expensive for me to pay my own way, but I need some guy advice. A few months ago, he told me that he was in love with me—he’s really awesome and cute, but I just don’t think of him in that way, and I told him, but I think he still thinks there’s a chance—am I leading him on if I go? I mean, I’m totally, 100 percent, not interested, but I know he won’t let me pay because he knows that’s like the easiest way to make a girl stick around—Oh, you didn’t know that? Yeah, paying for girls is like the easiest way to have her eating out of the palm of your hand—not that I’m saying you should do it with me—I like not being totally under a guy’s spell.”

This looks totally innocent—after all, you’re just asking for advice, and he’s being paranoid if he thinks you’re going to end up at Jeff’s place at the end of the night—how many times have you told your S.O. that you don’t think of this totally sweet, cute, amazing guy Jeff in that way!

But if the issue is that he’s not calling, flaking out, whatever, you need to appear unavailable and uninterested. That means you shouldn’t even be in enough contact with him to drop other guys’ names.

Let’s say he invited you to dinner on Saturday, but texted you at 3 p.m. to say that the restaurant lost the reservation and suggest just coming over to his place instead. You could either 1) head to his apartment and keep saying, “Wow, my ex used to take me to such great dinners!” while you’re making out on his couch or 2) say, “Ah no problem—let’s try for sometime next week!”

The problem with the first scenario is that, no matter how subtle you think you’re being, it’s not working. He’s either missing the point or totally turned off by how obvious you’re being—he gets it, you want dinner, but you’re giving him what he wants and he didn’t have to drop 80 bucks, so all he has to do is ignore your whining.

And Jeff won’t work in this scenario, because neither of you is committed enough for it to be an issue. If you’ve only been on a few dates, and he seems like he wants to keep things casual, it’ll look weird if you start talking about Jeff. He has no right to care if you’re dating other people, and rubbing it in his face makes you look a little skanky. And you don’t know him well enough to be asking him “guy” advice, and even if you did, his reaction probably wouldn’t be, “Wow, I need to take her to Komi,” it would be more like, “Wow, doesn’t she have someone else to ask about this?”

News Roundup: The New Math on Campus

The New York Times recently published an article on the gender imbalance in many of the nation’s prestigious colleges and universities.

The article explores the ramifications of a widely noted trend in undergraduate admissions: female applicants tend to have higher SAT scores, better GPAs, and more extracurricular activities than their male counterparts.

So what happens when girls get to campus and find themselves outnumbering the boys? The article argues that the boys have all the power when it comes to dating, and the girls have to play by their rules. According to the author, college guys are more interested in sex than relationships, and the girls who want “something more” have to settle for casual sex because the guys are calling the shots.

While the gender ratio may contribute to this dynamic, it’s not the root cause of the problem.

The author chronicles the mating rituals these coeds employ to find “the one.” Here are the highlights:

Thanks to simple laws of supply and demand, it is often the women who must assert themselves romantically or be left alone on Valentine’s Day, staring down a George Clooney movie over a half-empty pizza box.

‘I was talking to a friend at a bar, and this girl just came up out of nowhere, grabbed him by the wrist, spun him around and took him out to the dance floor and started grinding,’ said Kelly Lynch, a junior at North Carolina, recalling a recent experience.

‘A lot of my friends will meet someone and go home for the night and just hope for the best the next morning,’ Ms. Lynch said. ‘They’ll text them and say: “I had a great time. Want to hang out next week?” And they don’t respond’

Even worse, ‘Girls feel pressured to do more than they’re comfortable with, to lock it down,’ Ms. Lynch said.

As for a man’s cheating, ‘that’s a thing that girls let slide, because you have to,’ said Emily Kennard, a junior at North Carolina. ‘If you don’t let it slide, you don’t have a boyfriend.’

“Women do not want to get left out in the cold, so they are competing for men on men’s terms,” [Kathleen A. Bogle, a sociologist at La Salle University in Philadelphia] wrote. “This results in more casual hook-up encounters that do not end up leading to more serious romantic relationships. Since college women say they generally want ‘something more’ than just a casual hook-up, women end up losing out.”

‘A lot of guys know that they can go out and put minimal effort into their appearance and not treat girls to drinks or flatter them, and girls will still flirt with them,’ said Felicite Fallon, a senior at Florida State University, which is 56 percent female.

So, basically, these girls aren’t making the guys put in any work whatsoever. This sentiment is oh-so-eloquently by one of the (few) men interviewed for this article:

‘You don’t have to work that hard,’ said Matt Garofalo, a senior at North Carolina. ‘You meet a girl at a late-night restaurant, she’s texting you the next day.’

The issue, it seems, is not the gender imbalance, but rather the way these girls are behaving.

When you make things too easy for guys, they’re going to lose interest. After all, if you seem so desperate to date the nerdy guy who monitors the computer lab, he’s going to wonder what’s driving the desperation. And he’s probably going to conclude that you think he’s too good for you. And if you think that, why shouldn’t he?

When girls are borderline-raping guys on the dance floor and taking them home for a one-night stand, the guys are going to assume they can do better. Not because the odds are in their favor, but because the girls seem really available.

And because we all want what we can’t have (especially when it comes to sex), these guys are going to look for the girls who aren’t giving it up as easily.

And if you read between the lines, that’s what the guys are saying.

‘Guys tend to overshoot themselves and find a really beautiful girlfriend they couldn’t date otherwise, but can, thanks to the ratio,’ [a male North Carolina alum] said.

What this guy’s saying is, the guys want to date girls that seem out of their league. But how can you tell who’s out of your league?

Yes, some people fall at extreme ends of the attractiveness spectrum. But most of us are somewhere in the middle. And, at that point, a lot of it comes down to personal preference. Some guys go crazy for redheads. Others are turned on by blonde hair, regardless of the face underneath it.

It’s the same for girls. Some girls want the lacrosse-player shaggy hair, while others like guys who look like they just got out of basic training.

So when a guy’s trying to figure out if a girl’s out of his league, he’s going to take a lot of clues from her behaviors/action.

If she’s texting him the day after a one-night stand to say, “I had a great time last night. Let’s get lunch this week.”, he’s probably going to assume she’s at least at (if not below) his level. Because if she were out of his league, she wouldn’t be giving him the time of day.

But if she’s not even going home with him in the first place, he might start to wonder if he’s good enough for her. And that’s going to pique his interest, not “[doing] more than [you’re] comfortable with to lock it down,” as the girls in the article suggest.

The guys agree.

‘Even though there’s this huge imbalance between the sexes, it still doesn’t change the fact of guys sitting around, bemoaning their single status,’ said Patrick Hooper, a Georgia senior. ‘It’s the same as high school, but the women are even more enchanting and beautiful.’

Presumably, the “enchanting and beautiful” women these guys are pining over aren’t putting out after the late-night diner.

All the guys are quick to point out how easy it is to get sex. But they all also bemoan the fact that they don’t have girlfriends.

The problem seems to be that the girls who put out don’t seem like girlfriend material. And the girls who don’t suddenly become these “enchanting” beauties that the guys actually want to date.

The girls who do put out aren’t ugly. The article goes into irrelevant detail about the outfits they wear and the time they put into their hair and makeup. So the girls who hold out probably aren’t more beautiful in an objective sense, but they seem more attractive because they seem less attainable.

These women aren’t single because they outnumber the guys. They’re single because they don’t know how to behave in a way that encourages men to date them.

And in cities like DC, where smart, motivated, and attractive women seem to outnumber men with the same characteristics, we could all learn a thing or two from these coeds’ mistakes.

A Dating Site for Cats And Dogs?

Before you think that cats and dogs are available for online chat sessions with one another on social media networks, you should know this free online dating site is actually geared towards individuals who are looking for the perfect pet companion in life.

Finding the ideal pet is almost like finding your true love–it`s something both men and women have struggled with for years. Sometimes we have grand expectations and sometimes we`re not picky at all and we disappoint ourselves by pairing ourselves up with a companion that is not right for us in the long run.

Well the people at PATCH website, have made it a lot easier for people to find the furry friend they have been seeking to love and to care for by providing detailed "purrsonals" of rescue cats and dogs who are seeking a family to love them.

Each week, PATCH will bring you hundreds of ads on their site from Pet Rescue that are available to be adopted as soon as possible. Pet Rescue has found lovable homes for about 900 cats and dogs each year and mostly for no cost at all.

Brought together by their common love for animals, Pet Rescue has found homes for about 800 cats and dogs per year, all of whom did not belong to a shelter.

It is important to take a chance on these cuddly creatures online like you would if you met someone to date online. They want your love and affection and are ready to live fulfilled lives with you.

You can visit PATCH today for more details or you can call Pet Rescue at 914-834-6955.

What Reality TV Can Teach Us About Dating: The Bachelor

A few nights ago, our roommate forced us to watch an episode of The Bachelor.

We haven’t watched the show since 2002 (and we stopped watching reality matchmaking television forever when it got rid of its most, um, innovative program, For Love or Money, which is like the bachelor, except at the end, the woman gets to choose between staying with the guy or dumping him for $1,000,000, and if that doesn’t sound like amazing television, we don’t know what does), but we were surprised to see that, in eight years, nothing has changed.

You’d think that the current season’s contestants would have watched the other seasons before going on the show, like a football team gearing up for the big game. They have EIGHT seasons of tape to learn from, but they’re all making the same mistakes the original cast was back in the aughts.

So we’ve put together a guide for future bachelor contestants (whom we so desperately want to call “bachelorettes”). Even if you’re not planning on auditioning for The Bachelor, you still might be able to learn a thing or two about how to attract a guy when you’re surrounded by 20 other beautiful (albeit clinically insane) women.

1. STUDY THE SET-UP. Here’s the way The Bachelor works: For most of the show, the Bachelor is surrounded by a group of women who are aware of the fact that he’s simultaneously dating all of them. This means that a lot of women’s interactions with the Bachelor have to be strictly platonic—after all, if one girl grabs him and starts making out, the others would attack like a pack of starving lions on a lone overweight zebra.

This divides the game into two fields: public space and private space. Your strategy is going to depend on the field you inhabit, because the dynamic is different in each space.

But the winning strategies for public and private space are actually the opposite of what most girls think they are. When you’re in public, you want to distinguish yourself from the other girls—which means not throwing yourself at him and/or acting like a dumb bimbo. When you’re in private, you want to keep things on the platonic side. Why? Read on.

2. KNOW YOUR OPPONENTS. Ninety percent of the girls on this show are literally bat-shit insane. And ninety-nine percent are beautiful. They all employ the same strategy: whenever the Bachelor’s in the room, they do everything short of peeing on him to mark their territory.

3. PLAY OFF YOUR OPPONENTS’ WEAKNESSES. If a guy has 20 beautiful women throwing themselves at him, he’s going to notice the one that doesn’t. He’s going to think, “These are the most beautiful women I’ve ever met in my entire life, and they all told me I was their soul mate within five minutes of meeting me. Why isn’t that one girl doing that?” When a group of women are throwing themselves at a guy and one isn’t, the guy’s going to think the one is better/more desirable than the other women, because she seems like she might be too good for him. He’s going to be more interested in pursuing her because 1) she seems like the most eligible contestant and 2) we all want what we can’t have.

And while rapid-fire flirtation is flattering, it’s not that entertaining. So you can further distinguish yourself by engaging him platonically. Make jokes. Ask him questions that have nothing to do with relationships. Most girls are asking him things like, “What do you look for in a future wife?” Be the one who asks him, “So how, exactly, do you learn how to fly a plane?”

4. EXPLOIT YOUR ADVANTAGES. When the Bachelor takes contestants into “private” rooms, most try to engage him physically. They sit on his lap, rub his thigh, and make themselves seem incredibly sexually available in general.

This is a huge turnoff. When you’re on The Bachelor, your ONE advantage is sexual tension. The Bachelor and the contestants spend a lot of time flirting, but they get to spend much time touching. This creates a lot of anticipation and sexual buildup, which can be a huge advantage.

When a guy’s free to imagine sex with you, his fantasy’s going to be 100 times sexier than the reality. His fantasy won’t have weird noises, awkward slip-outs, weird smells coming from the restaurant downstairs, etc.

When you start touching him, those fantasies turn into a much-less-sexy reality. And when he realizes he can have you just as easily as he can have most of the other contestants, he’s going to seek out the challenge girls.

Case in point: In this week’s episode, the Bachelor invited one girl to “chat” in a hotel suite. She jumped on his lap in a dress that barely covered her vagina. She immediately started rubbing his inner thigh. Later, in the confessional, the Bachelor said he felt like there wasn’t much chemistry, and he kicked her out at the next Rose ceremony (what is this—a sorority?).

The chemistry came from imagining what the tips of her fingers would feel like on his inner thigh, and from wondering whether or not he’d ever get to that point. As soon as he got it, he was disappointed, and her availability made her less interesting.

5. DON’T TALK ABOUT IT, DO IT. Bachelor contestants love talking about the (perceived) state of the relationship. Why waste time getting to know the Bachelor when you could constantly badger him about how he feels about him, only to interrupt him and explain how you’re feeling?

Does that sound like a fun conversation? Guys find it even more boring.

There’s nothing worse than overanalyzing a relationship with the person you’re trying to have one with. It makes you look boring, insecure, and immature. The Bachelor (and guys in general) is going to look for the girl who can hold an interesting conversation, and one who keeps him guessing about her true feelings.

Not-So-Desperate Singles Event?

Normally, we're not advocates of singles nights. They're usually 1) a huge waste of time 2) incredibly awkward and 3) filled with such desperate, misguided aging bachelors that the few normal people who show up leave feeling beyond depressed because it seems like all the good ones are taken.

But on Friday night, the mysterious "Atieno and Alana" host an evening of "champagne and conversation" at Napoleon Bistro. We'll show up anywhere if there's a champagne tasting (which there is), but Atieno (a real estate agent who "finds houses and spouses") wants you to come to meet someone who you'll really connect with. And she has a plan to make sure it's not a guy who still gets dating advice from his mom.

Here's how it works: you show up looking hot and bring a friend of the opposite sex who's a real catch (i.e., someone you would set your best friend up with). Add champagne. Rinse. Repeat.

We're a little worried that it might just be cute girls and their awkward, cute-but-not-in-that-way-but-a-really-sweet-guy friends from college. But you never know. And did we mention the champagne?

E-mail us at datethedistrict@gmail.com if you want an invite. Otherwise, we'll see you at 1847 Columbia Rd NW this Friday at 7:30.

Gmail Beer Goggles Is Your Friend

I`m sure there are a lot of you that know what the term ‘beer goggles` mean. You have probably been the victim of putting these less than flattering and subtextual eye wear on when you`ve been drinking. All of sudden, your ex who broke your heart is suddenly worthy enough to have sex with again. Your platonic guy friend who loves you off, suddenly seems sexy. Most times, you are probably lucky enough to have a wingman back you up or you have a good friend that has prevented you from making horrible life mistakes. Unfortunately, the same can`t be said when you are having an online chat session with somebody you shouldn`t be talking to.

Most people still have no idea about Gmail Beer Goggles and they really should because it would save a lot of embarrassing and tragic email sending. Google created this application for you and if you add it, it will be your email wingman.

Gmail Beer Goggles start working on late weekend nights after midnight because this is the time you will need it the most. 9 times out of ten, if you`re sending an email after midnight, you are probably declaring your love to an ex that broke your heart and really who needs that?

Before sending out an email, you will be asked to solve a few irritating math problems in an allotted time slot. If you can not do the math, then you should not be sending out your email and if you get the answer wrong, Gmail will not send it out. This is a brilliant tool every tech-savvy person should have enabled in their Gmail accounts. Just make sure you do not have a calculator handy. They will get you trouble fast!

International Make-Out Artist: Sufjan Stevens

So what, exactly, is the international make-out song?

The summer before college, a lot of guys who spent their high school years dry humping pillows anticipate the transition to bro-dom and decide to learn guitar. Most Dispatch songs can be played with only one or two chords, so the training isn’t especially difficult, and a guitar coupled with shaggy longish hair is the shortest way into a girl’s heart (and pants).

International make-out songs, in theory, are songs that are so easy to play that 1) any bro can learn to play them with Google and a half hour, 2) said bros can sit on their beds in their freshmen dorms with their doors open and play said songs over and over until the cute girl from down the hall comes in and says, “Ohmygod, I love Dashboard!”, and 3) said girl will immediately begin to make out with said bro, and the songs are so simple that the bro doesn’t even have to stop playing while swapping spit.

Famous international make-out songs include Dashboard’s “Screaming Infedilities,” Dispatch’s “Out Loud,” and Oasis’s “Wonderwall.”

International make-out songs, by definition, have to be slightly obscure. Not so obscure that people haven’t heard of them, but obscure enough that they’re hard to find on the radio. But now that the “bro” identity has taken a definite turn towards hipster, we’ve noticed that international make-out songs are more and more likely to be found on Pitchfork.

The newest international make-out artist? Sufjan Stevens. Beloved by hipsters and evangelical Christians alike, this guy makes girls want to take their pants off (even though he’s probably saving it for marriage).

Bros, ready your tabs.

And of course, the one everyone’s heard:

Missed Connections Extravaganza

First, our missed connection of the day, which is hilarious 1) because the guy signed it and 2) more because of the last line than the content itself.

Threw up on you - m4w (Hard Times)

I threw up on you at Hard Times on Monday night. I was trashed (as you could probably figure out). I thought you were really hot. I think you had red hair and maybe a twin because I saw two of you but it might have been those 21 shots I had...We should meet up.

--Luther

ps-if you're not 18 dont respond

6 Sex Fetishes That You Didn't Know Existed

There`s kinky sex, and then there is KINKY sex. You may think that some bondage and a little hand cuffs might be pretty far out there but let me tell you, that is nothing compared to the dozens of sexual fetishes that some people have out there in this crazy world of ours. Here is a look at some of these weird and obscene fetishes.

Diaper Fetish:
People who enjoy wearing diapers during sex are called diaper lovers and contrary to what you might think, they have no interest in pedophilia. People who use them may have an interest in urinating when they orgasm, or may like to have their partner urinate in them. Some extremists will even go as far as wearing child like pajamas or even using pacifiers while sleeping or fucking.

Erotic Asphyxiation:
This is a truly dangerous form of fetish sex and you don`t want to mess with it. It is a lot more dangerous than pleasurable and can easily cause death. A person who enjoys this will often tie a cord, scarf or other item around their neck to cut off blood circulation and oxygen to the brain. This supposedly makes the orgasm more intense and satisfying.

Klismaphilia:
The people interested in this fetish are most likely anal sex enthusiasts and it refers to the pleasure from giving or receiving an enema. People who enjoy this will often fantasize about getting an enema and can even reach orgasm while getting one.

Hybristophilia:
This fetish is also described as "Bonnie and Clyde Syndrome"and it`s when people have a sexual fascination with someone who has committed a gruesome crime. Many prisoners with murder cases receive fan mail from women who have sex fetishes or fantasies about the criminals.

Plushophilia:
These people have sex fetishes with stuffed animals or people who wear animal costumes. People who are interested in this act enjoy having sex with their partners dressed up in plush costumes and could even feel the pleasure from masturbating with a small stuffed animal.

The Situation Loves Abstinence

OK, today we’re taking the day off from salvaging your sex life to talk about something serious.

First, watch this:

Abstinence is probably one of the most dangerous messages we’re feeding our children. It’s, hands down, the worst form of birth control out there (look how well it worked for “B. Palin”).

Yes, it’s nice that there’s someone telling kids who aren’t physically or emotionally ready for sex that it’s OK to wait until you’re responsible enough, but the message can’t end there. Safe sex has to be more than just an afterthought, which is how it’s treated in this PSA.

Most kids aren’t going to wait till marriage to have sex, which makes abstinence pretty unrealistic. And when they stop living in the fantasyland where sexual desires are something to be overcome, they don’t know how to protect themselves from the very real consequences of unprotected sex.

Trying to prevent pregnancy with abstinence is like trying to lose weight by limiting your diet to carrots. It works when you stick with it, but it’s unsustainable in the long run, and when you do start craving “sugar,” you don’t have the tools (like portion control and calorie counts/condoms and oral contraceptives) to indulge without destroying your waistline.

Then there’s the absurdity of having Bristol Palin as a spokesperson for abstinence. But not because she got knocked up two years ago, which seems to be everyone else’s complaint, but because it’s absurd to believe that she’s back to saying no today.

How many people do you know who have sex and then swear off it? If sex wasn’t an enjoyable pastime, the human race would be in serious trouble, and if people could decide it just wasn’t for them, China wouldn’t have to tell its citizens to do it less.

There’s no way this girl is “not going to get into a situation before she’s married,” which means she’s probably practicing safe sex herself. For someone who’s realized that safe sex is the better alternative to push young girls down the path she’s already been down (i.e., saying no until you do and then not using a condom to pretend it isn’t real) is fucked up.

Refusing the condom at the end is probably the worst part. Having condoms doesn’t make kids have sex, but it does protect them if they end up in situations they didn’t plan for.

Having sexy ads coupled with abstinence PSAs is the worst thing a company can do. It’s selling kids sex and then telling them not to have it. Which message do you think prevails?

Long Distance Relationships

A lot of people have turned to. A lot of people have turned to online dating and are becoming involved in relationships with people who live across the world. Also, many couples who are separated due to career purposes, etc. are finding it easier than ever to be in long distant relationships because of things like Skype, Facebook, and Web cams. Whatever your reason may be for being in a long distance relationship, there are many factors to consider before you make the leap. You should first agree on an end goal for the relationship, whether it be meeting in a few months, reuniting on a vacation, or calling it quits after a certain time apart. If you don't establish this, you may end up stringing along the status quo indefinitely. You will need to increase the amount of communication you have with your long distance lover. Make sure you're ready to switch you cell phone plan over to something that is more long distance friendly because you will be spending a lot more time on the phone that what you're use to. When you're on the phone, you will want to schedule another phone date so you are both on the same page. You will need a weekend or so together once every six weeks, if it's possible. Even though you Skype every night, there is is nothing that can make up for the touch and smell of your significant other, also known as sex. You don't necessarily have to visit each others homes, you could plan a vacation away from both of your respective places. When you don't know where your partner is on a minute by minute basis, it can lead you to think awful thoughts about what they could possibly be doing. Don't let this get the best of you. Try not to show too much jealousy because it will only push her away and make your long distance relationship that much harder than it already is. You must prioritize what is important to the both of you. It's all about weighing the ups and downs associated from what you want in life! online dating and are becoming involved in relationships with people who live across the world. Also, many couples who are separated due to career purposes, etc. are finding it easier than ever to be in long distant relationships because of things like Skype, Facebook, and Web cams. Whatever your reason may be for being in a long distance relationship, there are many factors to consider before you make the leap.

You should first agree on an end goal for the relationship, whether it be meeting in a few months, reuniting on a vacation, or calling it quits after a certain time apart. If you don`t establish this, you may end up stringing along the status quo indefinitely.

You will need to increase the amount of communication you have with your long distance lover. Make sure you`re ready to switch you cell phone plan over to something that is more long distance friendly because you will be spending a lot more time on the phone that what you`re use to. When you`re on the phone, you will want to schedule another phone date so you are both on the same page.

You will need a weekend or so together once every six weeks, if it`s possible. Even though you Skype every night, there is is nothing that can make up for the touch and smell of your significant other, also known as. A lot of people have turned to online dating and are becoming involved in relationships with people who live across the world. Also, many couples who are separated due to career purposes, etc. are finding it easier than ever to be in long distant relationships because of things like Skype, Facebook, and Web cams. Whatever your reason may be for being in a long distance relationship, there are many factors to consider before you make the leap. You should first agree on an end goal for the relationship, whether it be meeting in a few months, reuniting on a vacation, or calling it quits after a certain time apart. If you don't establish this, you may end up stringing along the status quo indefinitely. You will need to increase the amount of communication you have with your long distance lover. Make sure you're ready to switch you cell phone plan over to something that is more long distance friendly because you will be spending a lot more time on the phone that what you're use to. When you're on the phone, you will want to schedule another phone date so you are both on the same page. You will need a weekend or so together once every six weeks, if it's possible. Even though you Skype every night, there is is nothing that can make up for the touch and smell of your significant other, also known as sex. You don't necessarily have to visit each others homes, you could plan a vacation away from both of your respective places. When you don't know where your partner is on a minute by minute basis, it can lead you to think awful thoughts about what they could possibly be doing. Don't let this get the best of you. Try not to show too much jealousy because it will only push her away and make your long distance relationship that much harder than it already is. You must prioritize what is important to the both of you. It's all about weighing the ups and downs associated from what you want in life! You don`t necessarily have to visit each others homes, you could plan a vacation away from both of your respective places.

When you don`t know where your partner is on a minute by minute basis, it can lead you to think awful thoughts about what they could possibly be doing. Don`t let this get the best of you. Try not to show too much jealousy because it will only push her away and make your long distance relationship that much harder than it already is.

You must prioritize what is important to the both of you. It`s all about weighing the ups and downs associated from what you want in life!

Think Before You Send A Friend Request

Since we have been talking about Facebook recently, I thought it would be a good idea to talk about some online chat no-no`s in regards to the popular social network. We all know that Facebook has become the ultimate tool in dating. You don`t have to be aggressive to get somebody to notice you anymore. All you have to do is send a friend request and then maybe you will be dating in no time. It has really become that easy.

However, Facebook is also infamous for pointing out its cyber stalkers and if you are not careful, you can fall into some common Facebook traps.

1. Cyber Creeping Too Much

So we have all cyber creeped our dating prospects. It`s only natural to do a little research on the person you plan to date. Sure, it may seem harmless, however the chances of you finding something you don`t want to see are very high if you`re digging for dirt. You see pictures of them with their exes or an innocent wall post that can be misconstrued into something it`s not. You don`t want to ask them about who the person is in their photos because that would probably scare them off. The best thing to do is send a friend request and just simply check out their martial status. That is all you really need to know about the object of your affections before you start dating them.

2. Finding Out Too Much Information

If you are constantly creeping on your prospect`s Facebook page, don`t be surprised to do a lot of acting when they give you personal information about them you already sought out on their profile pages and walls. Just like a highly anticipated film, it`s best not to spoil all the good parts before diving into the experience. If you know everything there is to know about your crush beforehand, you risk the chance of losing the chemistry you are trying to build with them.

3. Believing False Information

Being misled isn`t a huge problem on Facebook as it is on actual free dating websites. That being said, everybody creates profiles that display ourselves in the most positive way. Although, sometimes people have a tendency to lie about their martial statuses online. Before sending out a friend request, it`s best to go on real-life dates before you interact over the net. You should really get to know this person and being online allows those to be whoever they please.

Better Communication

Seeing what comes to us now via the net, we are growing skills in ways we would never have imagined or even thought we were lacking. It seems because of how and who we communicate with across chats, conducting our business remotely and even cybering we might indeed be coming better communicators, even if a lot of our communication is only across an IM or in emal.

There is no arguing that because of the Internet we are in contact with many more people then we`d ever be in contact with in our every day real life. The wide range of potential dates we meet in online dating sites, even people we know we might never really meet in person, opens us up to a wide range of personalities, helps us understand better a greater population of people then just our neighbors or the usual hopefuls we might see at the local bar.

Then there is to the wide range of interests, sexual or not, one can surf for on the net. Just coming into contact with ways of thinking and acting foreign to us might shed some light on understanding, might open us up to possibilities, might not only increase our chances for better sexual fulfillment, make us better lovers, but also simply just make us more willing to accept, listen to, approaches to the world far and away different then our approach.

It`s not simply quantity though, it is quality we all want when making our lives better. Having sex with many lovers doesn`t necessarily make us better lovers because of such a rigorous experience, but it is the quality of the fucks that make them worthwhile to us. Meeting a lot of people on line tickles us to the possibility of not so much meeting the hoards of people we chat with but to understanding them, enriching the quality of our lives by what we are exposed to , what we experience, surfing.

Being a good business partner, a loving mom or dad, a good spouse and certainly a good lover, the most important skill we can cultivate is being a good listener. Exposure to all the people, ways of living life, even fetishes available to us on the net will only help us to be better communicators, and better understanders.